Randy Moss’ First Self-Conducted Interview

Disclaimer

Sunday night after the Minnesota Vikings lost to the New England Patriots, 28-18, Vikings receiver Randy Moss broke a 3-week silence towards the media when he announced that all of his future press conferences for the year would be conducted by himself. That’s right, the media wouldn’t need to ask him any questions – he was going to do that himself. He was eventually released by the Vikings on Monday, and it was announced on Wednesday that Moss had been claimed off waivers by the Tennessee Titans.  Late Wednesday night, Moss was true to his word as he held his first self-conducted interview. We are the first to get a hold of the transcript of his interview, which is below.

Randy Moss (Player): “Good evening, everyone. I’m ready to take my first question.”

 

 

Randy Moss (Media): “Randy, how do you feel about being waived by the Vikings?”

 

 

Moss (Player): “I’m not gonna lie, man, it hurts. But, the Vikings are who I thought they were. Still, part of me hoped this time would be different, that’s why I took the damn field, but they let me off the hook. The Vikings are who I thought they were!”

 

Moss (Media): “You were claimed by the Titans. What are your thoughts?”

 

 

Moss (Player): “Man, I love the New England Patriots, hands down. I love the city, I love the fans, I love (coach Bill) Belichick and his cutoff sweatshirts, I love Tom Brady and his long, flowing hair. I love Deion Branch, even though I’ve only met him for a couple minutes. I love the sleepovers that Wes Welker would have on Friday nights. I even love (Patriots owner) Robert Kraft, even though he has nothing to do with Kraft Macaroni ‘n’ Cheese. That’s a fact.”

Moss (Media): “The Vikings traded for you, hoping that you could lead them to the playoffs. They now are o – ”

 

 

Moss (Player): “Uh, playoffs!? Don’t talk about playoffs! Ya kidding me? Playoffs!?”

 

 

Moss (Media): “Why are you so surprised?”

 

 

 

Moss (Player): “Imma let you finish, but that was the dumbest comment of all time. Of all time!” (stares, then shrugs shoulders)

 

 

Moss (Media): “Many Vikings fans seem to be upset with Brad Childress, first for how bad the team has been this year. Why do you think the Vikings are only 2-5?”

 

 

Moss (Player): “I’m supposed to be the franchise player, and we in here talkin’ ’bout practice. We talkin’ ’bout practice, not a game, not a game, but practice. We don’t even practice, so when the game come around, we’re not even prepared. Hell, half the team don’t even know we have a game when Sunday rolls around. People say, ‘It looks like the team didn’t show up today.’ Well, the truth is that half the team did not actually show up. That ain’t even (defensive end Jared) Allen out there, he’s too busy at his Culinary Academy. That’s just some ol’ farm boy Childress picked up in Mankato during training camp. ”

Moss (Media): “And how about how Childress handled the announcement that you had been waived?”

 

 

Moss (Player): “This was brought to me by a mother, of children. This had to have been done by a person that doesn’t have a child. I go to class, I was respectful to the media! I’m respectful to the public!…and I’m a good kid. Come after me! I’m a man! I’m 40! I’m not a kid!”

 

(Actual members of the media look around in bewilderment. Tom Pelissero of 1500 ESPN Radio is seen mouthing, “Whaaa?”)

Moss (Media): “What do you have to say about your fine for not talking to the media?”

 

 

Moss (Player): (Tapes mouth shut, holds up notebook that says, “No comment”).

 

 

Moss (Media): “Nothing at all?”

 

 

 

Moss (Player): (Turns page of notebook, which says, “Thanks for coming”).

 

 

Moss (Media): (sneezes)

 

 

 

Moss (Player): (Turns notebook page, which says, “God Bless You”).

 

 

Moss (Media): “You run into any traffic cops lately?”

 

 

 

Moss (Player): (Turns notebook page, which says, “Have a good day.”)

 

 

Moss (Media): “OK, one final question. If there’s anything you would like to say to Titans fans before you arrive, what would it be?”

 

 

Moss (Player): “Well, they should be happy that someone of my star power is finally on the team, because (lifts up boom box from below table and puts on sunglasses) I’m the only ten I see.”

(Moss gets up and flips the bird with both hands to the media as he exits the room)

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