Give Me A Break

Today was by far the most exhausting day I’ve had at Target Field since I started working for the Twins, and I’m not saying this because of my newfound “fame.” If you didn’t see on Facebook, I managed to make it on the FSN and YES telecasts, as well as the scoreboard during the 8-2 victory over the Yankees. I even have partial proof, thanks to Nick at “1,000,000 MINNESOTA TWINS FANS!!!”

Hint: I wasn’t the Yankee fan that took a bite out of her pork chop.

Edit: Go here to view the video since the one above has been removed by MLB.

Now some people are probably going to say, “Ok, we don’t see your face, so how do we know that the blue shirted person on the right is really you?” This may not appease everyone, but I have a list of things that happened while I was standing next to her.

1. Twins fans occasionally shouted “Yankees suck!” while she was giving her report.

2. Her name is Kimberly. As you can see, she does the same thing for YES as Robby Incmikoski does for FSN.

3. That Yankee fan was a really nice guy. He decided to exercise his freeganism beliefs later in the game by eating a partially eaten hot dog someone left in a basket in the section, which he found while he was sweeping the stairs (symbolizing a sweep of the Twins….despite the fact that the Yankees were currently losing 3-1) between Sections 137 and 138. When he picked up the hot dog, he said “See what you find when you clean up?” and then took a bite from it, which disgusted many people and caused a drunk Twins fan to start shouting “That’s a gay thing to do!” Excluding the stupid Twins fan, it was pretty funny to watch.

4. Kimberly was first reporting on Derek Jeter’s love of American Idol. If she had been facing the crowd of Twins fans, I’m sure they would have heckled that tidbit more than the fact that she worked for YES.

5. That Asian Yankee fan got into the shot several times, yelling “I love America!” repeatedly. I tried to gently push him away, which only worked for a few seconds. I don’t know what he said during the pork chop bit, however.

6. I now understand why she said “I can’t tell you how revolting it is.” I originally heard the quote while I was standing next to her, and I assumed she had tried the pork chop and decided it wasn’t very good, and thus was why she gave it away.

Before all of this happened, I asked her how Target Field compared to New Yankee Stadium. After she pointed out the obvious differences (Yankee Stadium is mostly gray, Target Field has more color, the decks are designed differently, etc.), she eventually said that Target Field was prettier. She also said she preferred the Yankee Stadium scoreboard, but that was only because she was more accustomed to the Yankees scoreboard. Even though she said that, I couldn’t help but remain fixated on the previous quote, which I heard as



What else was exhausting about today? Well, Section 138 is directly behind where the FSN broadcast was being held. You can imagine how many fans want to be on TV, and you can also imagine how many times I had to tell someone that they could not be in the background. I did such a good job of preventing fans from being in the shots that I completely forgot to ensure that I wasn’t in the shot myself. It wasn’t until I looked at a nearby TV set up for Ron Coomer and Anthony LaPanta that I finally realized that I could be seen. However, just like the YES video above, it wasn’t enough for someone to recognize me. The same was true for the scoreboard shots…enough to be seen, but not enough to be recognized.

After the game, I was told the same thing by the FSN crew: Fans can watch the post-game show, but they cannot be in the camera shots. As you can assume, once again there were people that didn’t want to heed my warnings. I nearly had to push a couple college-age males out of the background because they were convinced that it would be awesome to be seen on TV.* Near the end of the post-game show, during a commercial break, a boy about 12 years old asked Ron Coomer if he could have Coomer’s Gatorade towel which he had just used to wipe sweat off his forehead. In true Mean Joe Greene fashion, Ron tossed the kid his towel. A fellow usher of mine that was about my age found that disgusting. I asked if she would have been fine with a Joe Mauer used towel, and her response was something along the lines of, “I find a towel that anyone else used to be disgusting.”

* Yet here I am bragging about myself being on TV. Isn’t hypocrisy fun?

One of the last things I’ll mention was the role reversal of the Twins and Yankees fans during the game. “Minnesota Nice” is the stereotype, and we picture New Yorkers as tough and arrogant, but the opposite was true, at least in the right field stands. Like I said, Pork Chop Guy above was really friendly and spent most of the game talking to Twins fans, and there was another guy that was with “I love America!” guy that gave a hot dog vendor $20, then asked him to go through the section and yell, “Free hot dogs for Yankee fans!” and give away up to 4 “free” hot dogs. From my count, the vendor was able to give away at least three, and although this generous man playfully called the Yankee fans that asked for a “free” hot dog a bunch of sellouts, you have to admit that buying food for strangers is a rather nice gesture.

Meanwhile, Twins fans were chugging beer left and right, and I had a 20-something year old male walk right up to the generous hot dog guy and start swearing at him because he was a Yankee fan. I had to actually grab this guy and push him up the stairs before a fight started, but the Yankee fan had a smile on his face the entire time and had absolutely no intentions of making the situation escalate into something worse. I later found out he had lived in New York City for 20 years, and he told me that he didn’t feel any danger, especially compared to how hostile the New York fans can be towards opposing fans. A similar instance happened later in the game involving two other people, but once again, the Twins fan was the aggressor and the Yankees fan did absolutely nothing. I am certainly not a Yankees fan and I won’t cheer for a team against the Twins, but I can’t help but shake my head in disapproval when I see someone cross the line just because someone else wears the “wrong” team colors. Like I said multiple times to night, I’m ok if you heckle…I’m not ok if you swear. Besides, as I found out tonight, if you just strike up a polite conversation with a man or woman wearing something other than Twins gear, they’re typically going to return the favor and remain calm the entire time.

As you can see, I had a busy day, and although this wasn’t the worst thing that happened (the drunk, verbally abusive Twins fans were the worst), it still bothered me. No one came to give me a break during the game. *sniff sniff* Standing on concrete for about 5 1/2 consecutive hours takes a toll on my back and ankles, as it likely does for many people. I probably should have gone to bed fairly soon after I got home from the game, but I decided to take a break now. 25 minutes during a Twins game is nice, but a three hour break while being accompanied by a rum and Coke is glorious. Sure, I just typed 1300+ words, but this is relaxing, and besides, I can now say that I was on TV with Kimberly and Pork Chop Guy on the YES Network. Who knows, maybe the video will become popular and I’ll make a bunch of theoretical money, just like Tay Zonday and Dramatic Look Gopher.*

* Disclaimer: Video contains South Park violence and swearing.


13 Responses to “Give Me A Break”

  1. Topper Anton Says:

    Yankee’s fans (especially in Minnesota) have no reason not to be nice and easy-going. When you dominate a team that much, nothing they or their fans do can really rile you up, no?

    I definitely was watching him eat the pork chop on YES, glad to know I was looking at your arm and not realizing it!

  2. Myjah Says:

    Really to bad about the annoying Twins fans. I saw a few of them in the concourse and wanted to say something (like “Hey–stop giving Twins fans a bad rep!” or “Stop acting as bad as Yankee fans!”), but never got the chance.

    I didn’t notice any mean fans near me, but I’m sure its much more rowdy in the upper deck. Sat next to some Yankees fans and talked to them. We try to be nice to everyone. It’s fun sometimes when you buy some obnoxious fan from the other team a beer, and they look all confused.

    Although, at the end of our row on Tuesday was a whole family in Yankee gear, and they had a baby carrier and diaper bag directly in front of the entrance to the aisle. I said “Hey, there are going to be a lot of people coming in and out of here during the game.” and the Mom shot back rather rudely “WHAT’S YOUR POINT?” I just said “I don’t want anyone to step on your stuff.” They didn’t say anything, but I noticed a few minutes later they moved the stuff.

    Good post. That Pork chop guy is hilarious. I would have thought that guy was awesome if he was by me!

  3. Andrew Says:

    Deadspin has much better videos than YouTube. Their videos allow you to actually see my head.

  4. Doctor_Teh Says:

    By the way, you are also the number one Not Top 10 play on ESPN.

  5. haasertime Says:

    I wonder if there are any obvious changes in the types of crowds from the Metrodome to Target Field. I’ve heard the theory that many are at TF to see and be seen (drunk), but the dome was just baseball people. You should ask some of your fellow ushers about it.

    • Andrew Says:

      Well, with the Budweiser Roof Deck, Hrbek’s, the Town Ball Tavern, and the Twins Pub, there are plenty of places for people to spend more time drinking rather than watching the game.

  6. 27timeCHAMPS Says:

    Pretty sure this is you @ :47

  7. Linktastic: Because Not Everybody Has the Day Off | Twinkie Talk | A Minnesota Twins Blog Says:

    […] Twins fans to task for being too negative. And picking on fans of opposing teams (as does Andrew at Off the Mark). Ugh, I was afraid Target Field might draw the more casual Twins fans (you know, the kind who come […]

  8. Twinsfan Says:

    click on “Fan Moments” You made it to the site

  9. Notepad Scribbles, 10/18/10 « Off The Mark Says:

    […] you’ll notice the Yankee fan chomping on Kim Jones’ pork chop,* and if you remember, I was standing right next to Kim Jones when her pork chop was eaten.* Therefore, since I am a part of this potential winning Fan Moment, I […]

  10. TwinsFest, Day 1 « Off The Mark Says:

    […] Remember Pork Chop Guy? Well, he was at TwinsFest. I got to share with him my side of the story, and his friend took a picture of us. Too bad I didn’t think to have a picture taken with my […]

  11. louis vuitton outlet Says:

    This web site Give Me A Break | Off The Mark is containing a pleasant data of funny YouTube video tutorials, I liked it a lot.

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