Warning: Beware of Yankee Fans

Opening a new ballpark makes it very tough to purchase tickets for just about anyone. I have been privileged with working at Target Field during its inaugural season, meaning that I did not have to fight for tickets. I got to see some of the greatest Twins moments in 2010: Jim Thome’s walkoff against Matt Thornton, Alex Rios’ throw to nowhere, Michael Cuddyer’s tag of Kelly Shoppach that was apparently not a tag (hey, a great moment isn’t necessarily a good moment), among others.

Now that the Twins are in the playoffs, tickets are in even higher demand. Many fans have failed in getting tickets for these games, while others have been quite lucky and have purchased tickets to several games. Unfortunately, there’s something that worries me about some of these ticket buyers. Some of them are Yankees fans.

Oh sure, the majority of the fans will be donning Twins gear, but you can’t doubt that someone will make it through Gate 34 wearing the wrong pinstripes. If this person came all the way from New York, hey, I can’t argue too much with that. This guy is dedicated. No, what would really bother me is if this fan is from our own home state.

It happens, and I know it does. There is only one guy on this earth with Bryce Harper’s talent, but there are plenty of people with Bryce Harper’s mindset. The Yankees have always been winners. The Twins have only been winners for the past decade. When the Yankees were in town earlier this season, I saw many Yankee fans. Even worse was seeing them as one half of a couple, and the other (and better) half was wearing Twins gear. Listen, Twins fans, don’t let your significant other be a Yankees fan.

Somewhere, the parents of these people went wrong. Even while the Twins struggled through the end of the 90s, kids should have been instilled with the fact that the Twins were just biding their time. Defecting to Derek Jeter, Scott Brosius, Mariano Rivera, David Cone, etc. should have been unacceptable. But like Harper’s parents, it was alright for these future “bros” to adopt a team that had no geographical similarity to their hometown.

If you come to me and ask for help during tonight’s game, keep something in mind. You can tell me you’re from Minneapolis, Red Wing, Duluth, or Edina, but it won’t matter. The jersey on your back will carry more weight than your words, so when you leave your house, apartment, friend’s bachelor pad, whatever, remember to choose wisely. My job requires me to keep a smile on my face and be helpful to whomever needs it, but if I see a gray jersey that does not say “Minnesota” on the front, I will wish just a little harder for Alex Rodriguez to have a leg cramp while running to 1st base in the 3rd inning.

As for you dealing with the Twins fans, I give no guarantees. “Minnesota nice” is not true for all of us. New Yorkers are much different than Minnesotans, but we will be nasty in our own passive-aggressive manner. If you go to the bathroom and see peanut shells in your beer, or a person sitting in your seat, take the hint. You are not welcome here, because this is Twins Territory. Sure, you have 27 championships. We have two, and a third would mean far more to us than your 28th would to you. Just once, leave your Yankee gear at home and cheer on the hometown team as you should.

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8 Responses to “Warning: Beware of Yankee Fans”

  1. Josh Says:

    You know… I’m plenty accomodating when I see a fan from another team, but when it is a Yankee jerk-off, my eye starts to twitch and my skin begins to crawl.

    I have absolutely no problem with telling them to go fly a kite. And it’s not the winning tradition of the Yankees, because I do appreciate the championships and the history. But rather, it’s the smug arrogance. It’s the feeling that you deserve to win. It’s thinking that its completely logical and fine to take the top 10 players regardless of contract status and assume that they should be Yankees and question why management has not traded for them or signed them to a massive, economy-crippling contract. Worst of all… it’s that you think every player who has ever played the game wants to be an effing Yankee as if New York is this beacon of rainbows and sugar cookies. Well it’s not. It’s a dirty city that reeks of corruption, greed and homelessness and is plum full of pompous, suck-the-fun-out-of-life pricks who will do anything, sketchy or shameless, to make a nickel.

    I know this is a family blog, but seriously… GO F*CK YOURSELVES YANKEE FANS!

    Whew… I needed that.

  2. JimCrikket Says:

    I would think a place as classy as Target Field would have a “dress code” like most high-end clubs. Certainly any attire with NY or New York on it would fail to meet any reasonable standard. Turn those people away at the gate.

    Also, while you may be required to smile and be helpful, there are many ways to be helpful. If someone in the wrong pinstripes asks where the Ladies Room is, there are several helpful and accurate responses to that question… one of which might be to direct that person to the busiest restroom in the most remote and difficult place on the concourse from where that person’s seats are.

    • Andrew Says:

      At many times during yesterday’s game, even the men’s bathrooms had long lines. They were getting so long that there were guys lining up at the family bathroom.

  3. Joshua Says:

    I really hope A-Rod is not hitting in the third inning…cuz that would require them to be on their 14th batter of the game by that point

    • Andrew Says:

      I wasn’t exactly confident in saying A-Rod would bat in the 4th, for some reason. Point still stands, I want A-Rod to have a leg cramp. Harmless, but painful.

  4. Maija Says:

    I rode the bus home from last night’s game, and it got pretty packed with people. An older couple got on wearing Yankees gear. The bus driver asked them several times to move down the aisle to the back of the bus so more people could get on, and this couple complained there was no more room, even though there clearly was more room.

    So me–having spent 3 years living in NYC–said to these people “You’re from New York! You should know how to pack a bus!” Then these people told me they weren’t from New York, they were from somewhere in outstate Minnesota.

    I don’t even know how to end this post because just thinking about this makes me totally exasperated.

    • Andrew Says:

      That’s disappointing to hear, Maija.

      I admit, as a kid I was a bit of a bandwagon fan myself. I collected baseball caps of the Diamondbacks, Red Sox, and others (never Yankees… I do have a White Sox cap, but I played on a White Sox team for softball one year), but I still rooted for the Twins as my #1 team.

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